His Good Side...

At camp, I've been told by boys that have been with Colin for a while that he has seemed to have gotten aggressive. Which I support. He is pretty mean and violent. Not all the time. Heck no! But every now and then...he gets ugly. I don't like it either. They think that he's trying to impress me. I understand because I guess he got rather mean right after we started dating. They said that he used to be really cool. Like last year and earlier this year. I didn't know what they were talking about. I always think that he's cool. But tonight, I saw his "cool" side. He was casual, seemed comfortable, and very at ease with his brothers. He was so funny, cool, and confident in a way. Every time that we had a staring compotition, I could tell that he like looking into my eyes. As I liked looking into his. I finally got to see his "Cool Colin" side. Which only makes it harder to put him down with many complaints of his meansness. I have to meet him tomorrow. Please.

Today

Obviously, my friend stayed true to her word and actually had this "party". At 3:45, I cam over to my friend's house to help "prepare". At 4 on the button, Alex came over to join the partay. About 2 minutes later, when Anna was preparing to squirt Colin with a gun, Colin joined us and scared Anna out of her mind. She wasn't expecting him to come so soon, and hadn't finished getting the water gun ready. Olivia arrived shortly after, and the party really started. We were having a great time, till Anna announced that Clare was going to join us. Everyone loves Clare (me included), except Colin. Can't blame him. She can be a bit of a pest (as in endless teasing). He doesn't hate her, but doesn't like her that much. And vice versa. We had a great time together, though. It was a ton of fun. The best part? Clare got stuck in a kiddy swing, and while I went to the back to call my mom, something happened. Nothing big; trust me. I overheard while I was on the phone Alex saying "Ellie's gonna kill you, Clare". What could Clare have possibly done to Colin while she was stuck in a kiddy swing? It turns out that Clare had kicked him a place "where the sun don't shine" as Clare put it. Colin "didn't care", but I hugged him anyway. Normal, I've been hugging him the entire time. But for some reason, I was compelled to do something. I turned my head, and my lips brushed his ear (accidental; trust me) and didn't stop moving until they reached his cheek. And there, I kissed him. I couldn't believe myself. I just kissed a boy for the first time in my life. And no one even noticed.

A Long Time...

It feels like it's been weeks since I've seen Colin. It's been days. 5 days. I think that I'm losing those wonderful memories of my fling for him. A kiss, hugs, holding hands... We really liked each other. I know that I still like him, and he likes me. But I wnat to remember what it feels like when he looks at me, when he smiles at me, when he hugs me... thankfuly, my friend is supposed to have a get-together with him and a few others at her house tomorrow. Yay! i hust hope that she actually does. If not, there's going to be a cast and crew party in a week for the big play that we were both in. I miss him. And others. But mostly him...

What Happened

Do you remember in one of my posts, Wants and Observations, when I said that I had three wants? I decided to realize what has happened to those wants. My first want was for Colin to like me as much as I like him. Well, I don't know if he likes me as much as I like him; he might like me more! He really likes me, and I can tell: "If you hit me, I would cry" even though no one's hits hurt him, "I would never hurt you", "I promise that I won't do it to you" which was said when he was zapping everyone with his new shocker pen. You get the point. So want number one? Acomplished. My second want was for him to chose me over Mary. Well, as you will soon see, that definatly happened. Although my friend thinks that Mary and her friend both have crushes on Colin. Grrr. And my last want? To kiss him. Well, that didn't come ture. But he did kiss me! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!?! We went to lunch and my annoying friends nagged him to kiss me. They were really annoying, and made Colin and I really embaressed by playing Truth or Dare. We both chose truth and one of my friends asked him if he wanted to kiss me. Colin nodded. I turned red. Then she asked me if I wanted to kiss him. I nodded and he turned red. Then I hugged him, because I felt bad. I wispered to him "You could have kissed me then. No one would have noticed". He smiled. A few minutes later, I hugged him again, but this time his lips brushed my cheek and stopped there for a few seconds. I smiled as all of my friends went "awww". I was so happy. It still doesn't seem real. So third want? Done, and happy about it.

My BFF's Hook-up

My friend, Olivia, is very supportive of my realationship. Well, not who I chose as a boyfriend; he gets on her nerves sometimes. But I remember her riding me about going out with him at the begining of the school year. Today, she got a bit of what I call a taste of her own medicine. Durring lunch and before it, my teacher (who helped Colin ask me out; well, by nagging him. She likes him,and thinks that he's a good match for me) decided that this guy from another teacher's class (who I think is just a perfect boy: smart, funny, sorta cute. Ahhh... FRIEND MATERIAL FOR ME. Don't worry) would be a good match for Olivia. So Colin hooked them up. Olivia's still getting over it; so's Andrew, the guy...

The Play

I really like him. I know I do. We hold hands, hug and stuff (NO, not kissing. blah) all the time in public. I love it; and so does he. He's the star in our Drama Club play which is Willy Wonka Jr. He plays Charlie Bucket, and he's totally tone-deaf. None of us (including him) know how he got the part. Either way, it's sorta hard to remain loyal to him when everyone around you is making fun of him. I feel so bad for him, and I'm proud that I don't make fun of him. I'm proud to have him as my boyfriend, tone-deaf or not. The best part about the play is that we've done a total of 6 performances, counting tonight. He plays the cool-factor, but I know that he's sorta scared deep down. So what does his loyal, supportive, encouraging girlfriend do before every show? I start by holding his hand when we're waiting for places, then give him a good-luck hug before he goes on stage; no matter what anyone says, he's the bravest, greatest person in the world to me, and he deserves o know that. Or at least interpret it.

My New Boyfriend

As you can tell by the title, I have a new boyfriend. No, it's not some one other than Colin. It means that our study date went well; very well. Ever since he admitted that he liked me, confirmed that we were going out and I admitted that I liked him, we've been really happy together. Sure, no dates together, but at school he continues to walk me to all of my classes, most of the time we go to recess together, and we are close and getting closer. We hug a lot, and just today, we held hands. For a while. I really like him, and he obviosly really likes me. I have his cell number memorized and he knows my number, too. We promised each other that we would stay in touch over the summer, since it starts for us next Thursday. I think that I'll invite him over for our 4 of July party. Wouldn't that be romantic? The two of us, sitting next to each other, watching that fireworks...the only problem with that is there are also a bunch of other guy friends (well, technicly, Colin's not just a friend) which, at least one of them I know gets jealous easily. Yikes. Oh well, gotta tell or show them sooner or later. Might as well do it then. Provided that he comes...there's another thing that I think he would like to do with me. There's a new movie coming out called Journey to the Center of the Earth in 3-D. It looks sorta scary for me to see alone just with my parents. I bet he likes action movies anyway, and I would love to see it with him...I decided that I will get him a birthday present. Something small, and he's going to be at camp all day anyway, so I'll stop by and leave it on his doorstep. I hope that he'll like it...he probably will love that I thought about him and remembered his birthday anyway. He'll love it, no matter what it is. Right?

Study Session

I refuse to call it a date. Really. Colin and I had a study SESSION on Saturday, because I needed help on my math homework. Well, that's what I said. I think that I just needed to acctualy work on it to get it. Oh well. That was my excuse. Didn't fool anyone. It was worth a shot. Either way, we talked the entire hour and a half. It was really nice. And I found some things out. Mostly useless stuff, but two great tidbits: 1. We are going out, and he liked it that way. Me too. And 2. He likes me. The same way that I like him. Dream come true, right? Well... I am super confused. HAPPY: don't get me wrong. But I am seriously hard-core thinking about how and why I like him. And if I mean it. I would rather not break a heart. Not that I would. I am 99.999% positive that I like him the way that I always have. When he hugs me (half or not), it's the warmest and most conforting hand that I have ever felt. Even when he looks at me, he keeps me in his grasp. I always smile. So don't missinterperat me: I think that everything is a dream. Too good to be true.