Signs

Ok, I really hope that Colin likes me. I have from the start. But now I'm getting signs. Good signs;don't worry. I love it. He's giving me signs like looking at me in ELA. And smiling at me. It makes my heart flutter every time. He sits next to me in my math class. The best part: I can hug him. Not big time. But half hugs. Like put your arm around his shoulder, and he puts his arm around yours. He's the main character in our drama club play. I am working backstage with others, and our last rehersal, he was waiting backstage. He had just gotten off and was standing with others. As I walkied by, I told him, "Nice job". He was taken aback, but grasped what I had said by the time that I started walking away, father backstage. He turned to me and said, "Thanks". I smiled, and continued walking away, when he turned around again and said, "Really". Now, I must admit, he's not that great of a singer. But he tries, and I can see it in his eyes. He's a good actor, though, no matter how hard he tries. I guess not many people tell him that. But he seemed to really like it when I said it. And I really ment it.

Back from Camp!

So sorry that I haven't posted recently (although it's not like anyone's reading it...). I was once again busy. For the past few days I was camping (it was a total blast!). The best part was that I was with you-know-who the entire time! Well, not sleeping but you get the picture. I have to go now, but I will be back on soon to tell about it.

Wants and Observations

Naturaly, for me there are many wants in life. 1. Colin has a crush on me as big as mine for him. 2. He doesn't trump Mary over me. And number three? 3. To kiss him. NOW BWFORE YOU MAKE JUDGMENTS: I'm not a romantic airhead. And I don't want my dream kiss to be a big romantic one. I want it to be my first. Light, dainty, yet a twinge of romance and lust. I want it to be with Colin. Under one condition: he has to like me the same way I like him. That's my first prioority. My second is for him to hug me. Then comes the first kiss. Ahhhh... Anyway, hehe. That's my list of wants. From him at least.
Observations... Where to start? I think that we should start in ELA class. It's the last period of the day. I tend to let Colin sit down first, so I can see 1. where he's facing and 2. where I will be able to see him. Now I don't get to chose my table. Neither does Colin. That's why I let him sit first: so I can figure out which seat at my table is best to sit in to see him. Then we start. I'm getting hints from Colin that he likes me as much as I like him because we flirt. Even when his back is to me, like it was today. Colin kept looking back at me. And not for a second, either. No. Even when I wasn't looking, I could see him (perifeal vision). Colin stared at me. Then we begin. Every now and then, casualy, I look back at him. We look at each other not for very long. We get embarressed. But before he looks away (I'm usualy the one who looks away first. Sometimes he contimues to look at me after I look away), I shoot him my great smile. Talk about flirty! Then I look down quickly. But he catches it.

Jealousy?

I know, that by the title, you think that I'm jealous. To start, I'm not the jealous type. It happens rarely to me. But I like Colin. Not as desperate as love, but enough to get jealous and think badly. There's this girl in our class (I'll be nice; let's call her Mary) that Colin sits next to. Mary and I were pretty good friends at the begining of the year, but not so good any more. It's not that we don't like each other; no, Mary's nice. But we're not as good of friends. It doesn't matter. Anyway, Colin sits next to her in home room and science. She only has 3 classes with us. She wasn't brilliant enough to make it in our math class, the most advance one in the school. You practicly have to sell your grandma to get in. If you score 99% or higher on the math placement test, you're in. So that's one thing I trumph her in. And that's it. She's got an A+ average in science (well, I do too), and a higher grade in social studies. Mary skipped a grade just to add to it. She's amazing in language arts (Colin, Mary and I share the ELA class). AND she's in jazz band. ARRRRR! But that's not the only reason that I think I'm jealous. Mary seems to be able to get in the smarter kids croud prety well (as in Colin, my two other friends and I. We're in all the enriched classes. The highest you can get. We are some of the smartest kids in the entire building). So Mary gets to be with Colin as much as she wants. REPEAT: ARRRRRRRR!. I good now. Sorry. Where was I? Oh yes: ANOTHER reason that I think that I'm jealous. This is probably the biggest reason: Mary can get Colin to laugh. Ohhhh, how I try to get that boy to laugh. This may be an example of how much I like him, but I think that his laugh is like the best sound that I can hear. For me, I try so very hard to get Colin to laugh (partly for my own enjoyment). It rarely works. But when it does...something happens. After we both stop lauging, our eyes lock. Our cheeks get bright red. Then we turn away. I love it. Anyway, Mary can just get him to laugh willy nilly. It kills me. I wish that I had that ability. But I feel as if it's not the same laugh; the after action deffinatly doesn't happen. I know what you're thinking: Mary being drop-dead gorgeous is this pathetic girl's last reason of jealousy. Nope. Mary cut her hair short; too short. She had a boy's cut. Everyone loves how different she is! She speaks her mind, total veggie, and an eco-maniac. That's my last reason of jealousy: she get's great thoughts. Then again, thre's nothing that I can do about that. I just hope that Colin doesn't cave in and give her a ton of attention too. I can't get my hopes up that he likes me, but if there's a number-2 wish, it would be that he doen't trump her over me.

Colin and Teasing

Ok, so it's been a few weeks since I've last posted. I'll say no more on that topic. I've already apologized in my last post. Which, conveniently, was a couple weeks ago. Anyway, I figured that since Colin asked me out who-knows how long ago (it feels like it's been months), everything was done. Nothing's happened since then. No dates or even mentions. Of course, our class (along with some other people) still tease us. It's kinda funny because at the begining of the year, most of the teasing seemed to be angled twoard me. I did the worst thing possible: I reacted to them. But I got over it. So now, even though the teasing hasn't stopped (acctualy, I think that it's gotten worse), I'm fine with it. Yeah, I still react to it sometimes, but not as badly. Colin does though. He gets super mad. Sometimes it results into fake slaps and things. I find it funny though. He reacts to it in a humorous manar to me. Colin turns bright magenta, and I think that it makes me feel good. Like he actualy has as big a crush on me as I do on him. I don't get my hopes up though.